filipina cast as kneeling animal
By Louie Leyson
I knock my fist against the walls
of the cavern in me, listen
as a‘s vowel sound fastens
to every echo. a as in abscess,
as in makeshift blight.
in my lola‘s silent gaze I discern
each translation of woman
that I’m not:
.
mestiza
maputla
maputi
.
here, words for woman depend
on the body’s proximity
to dusk, which is not the opposite
of light but its refraction.
when I speak it is through a foyer
full of mirrors. when I’m spoken to
my skin unfurls like a river.
.
morena
tsokolate
kayumanggi
.
I still can’t tell the difference
between glass pane
and shadow. a as in
abysmal. as in placeholder
for absence. a as in askal
afraid of its own reflection.
I howl as a way to vocalize
my pain. I kneel to bring
myself closer to the earth.