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Dear Austin,

By Brian Builta

A sad madman is now in charge of our whole operation. / From the height of his cockpit he waves like a conductor in / full seizure directing The Rite of Spring with a tree branch / and a plugged-in toaster dropped in bathwater as the feral / musicians scratch old scars and spar like swashbuckling silent / movie stars. I don’t pray but my body speaks in wracks and / heaves. I sigh. My heart does its own thing, the organs / comply. I see you often, elusive in flight, sometimes alighting / on a fence or wire. This morning in the hedge, a commotion, / a keening like gnashing teeth being pulled, then silence. / Between alarm and snooze I saw you dressed in white / running shirt and black shorts and shoes. You came in the / side door as if back from a run. I went full father-of-the- / prodigal-son and leapt but you disappeared into my waking. / For a while I would open the blinds in your room and light a / candle, but this just illuminated your absence. As your / grandmother was dying, Annie the bubbly medical tech wrote / Love Never Fails on the dry erase board. I thought about / erasing it, the image of you hanging from your bunk, but I / didn’t. I left it there, letting her think it true.

for PDF, click here.

 

 


Brian Builta

Brian Builta lives in Arlington, Texas, and works at Texas Wesleyan University.

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